Sunday, October 29, 2006

My journey - Meulaboh 2006

Refugee camp - Meulaboh 2006

Ex-tsunami location - Meulaboh 2006

Suak Ribee Beach (afternoon) - September 2006

Suak Ribee Beach - September 2006


Thursday, October 26, 2006

Song #2

I ended my conversation with Stefy with a little sharing from my devotional reading this morning about 'Surrendering'. "You are not manipulative. You are not trying to control the outcome of a situation. If you are surrendered to God, you do the right thing and then leave it alone. God will work it out." (PDL, Devotional Reading 25.10.06)

Numerous things appeared in front of me lately, kind of giving me clues about my next journey and I was still perplexed. After reading that, I, suddenly, decided to just 'do the right thing' to strive for my love, my relationship. Whether my strive will yield something cheerishing, I don't have a clue. Yes, indeed, surrender! That's what I need to do.

Dear Stefy, I hope you read this bit. Probably this lyric is TOO melancholic or a little bit exaggerating; yet, you must know that I am serious.

Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo
Copyright 2000, Corrmay Gourmet Music (ASCAP)

I'm sorry that I hurt you
I took for granted all you gave
so freely to me
I pray it's not too late
To save you from a broken heart
To promise you
I'll make a brand new start
Believe me, when I say

You are all that I need
The only treasure I seek
You're the air that helps me breathe
through the darkest night when
I fall down on my knees
I was blind but now I see
You are all that I need

You know I'm far from perfect
Like a child that needs a guiding hand
Can you stay here with me?
I finally understand
You've always been the missing part
Complete the jigsaw puzzle of my heart
Please hear me, when I say

let me hear your voice again
Let me hear you say
your love will never end
That whatever it takes you'll be there
Believe me, when I say


I love Corrinne May. Her voice makes me close my eyes and stay awake at the same time; she makes me feel happy and mellow at the exact same time.

I, accidentally, found her lyrics and this one has just crushed my heart. I actually found two lyrics that illustrate what I feel inside. I will post another one soon. Yet, enjoy this one (you can chech her songs in her website)

Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo
Copyright 2003, Corrmay Gourmet Music (ASCAP)

So here we stand
Anchored in hope
Letting the rain wash away every fear
Stars in the sky
Twinkle and shine
I pray they won't disappear

'Cause I don't know
where your journey goes
or how long it will take to unfold
But as long as we keep this moment shining in the dark
I will be watching over every beat of your heart

I wish that time
Could be replayed
I'd keep you here with me everyday
They say that love is letting go
I hope that you find your way

Ketika cinta harus memilih

If love has to choose.

It is quite romantic title, isn’t it? A couple days ago, I had chat with a good, new friend of mine in Jogjakarta, on the phone. I told her that I am not that romantic type of person (and neither is Stefy). She was quite surprised because my writing, my blog pictures me as a romantic type of person.

I just went back from Aceh and I don’t think I would ever get rest from thinking. I am not sure whether it is me who is too workaholic, both in thinking and working; or is it that I have endless problems.

I surprised Stefy with my earlier arrival. I thought he would be very happy; yet he was ‘okay’. I thought he would embrace me with his laughter and said that he was very happy to see me. No. What I received was a bitter smile and a cold welcome from him.

I tried to be a very positive person lately. I want to think positively. Thus, I said to myself, “Nia, he is just tired. His thesis is overkill.”

Three days went by without his phones and visit to my home. I was quite surprised. I reckoned that he was too busy or tired; yet he spent his time going out with friends. I was very insulted. I grieved.


Two weeks ago, exactly, I decided that if it is God’s will, I would be more than happy to go back to Aceh. I would love to work there for some times. Yes, I would. Then, my mind started thinking of my relationship with Stefy. What should I do? What should we do?

Once in a while, I felt that this long distance relationship is very tiring. I won’t do that anymore. On the other hand, I know for sure that I care about Stefy. I (ehem..) love him. It is just such a shame to break this relationship just for another long distance relationship. We’ve been through this kind of thing.

“He has delivered us,…On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us.” (2 Cor 1:10).

I remembered this verse. I found it when I was crying out to God about my relationship with Stefy, in the beginning of my trip in Aceh.

I closed my eyes, repeating this verse, said to myself, “Nia, you muddle through it someway.”


“I need you to be here next to me. Not miles away. You suppose to be the first that knows everything about me; yet now you seem to be the last to know. When I wrote my thesis, I wanted you to be the one supporting me. Yet, you were not there. Good that I have very faithful friends.”

I was stunned.

“When we talked on the phone, you kept saying about you, yourself and your surround. I don’t feel that you care about me anymore. That’s why I really want you to be here next to me, here in Surabaya.”

“If I have to go throught this the second time. I don’t think I can.”

Tears fell on my cheek. I felt the warm of my tears. I wiped it.

Finally, I could speak up, although I was holding my breath, stopping me from crying even worse, “Since when did you feel this kind of thing?”

“about 2-3 weeks.”

Dear Lord, please remind me what I have done last 2- 3 weeks.


With this situation in front of me, I have to choose. It is very difficult. Thus, I decided to ask God to choose the best path for me, because I know that the plan He has is a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, plan that gives me hope and future.

Either was is fine for me, God! What I need is a heart to surrender and accept everything that may come and feet to still walk on Your path and forget what is behind.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Minal Aidzin, Wal Faidzin

For all of my friends or readers who celebrate Idul Fitri, Happy Idul Fitri!
Allah bless you.

Travel back

I smiled.
It was very early in the morning that I was about to leave Meulaboh. My friend waved me off at the door of Lorong Salam (my address in Meulaboh). I was relieved. *Sighing* I normally have I-must-have-forgotten-something syndrome. What’s that? Okay, it is an illness where you always feel that must have forgotten something before you travel or go to another place. I am not very good at writing to-do list or to-bring list; yet I always carefully think over what I have put in my luggage and what I still need to put in. Yet, a couple hours before I leave, I would always worry. “Oh, have I brought toothpaste?” “Hm,.. where have I put the charger?” “Oh my goodness, I think I left my lipstick on the table!”

That morning, I was very relaxed. I prayed, “God, please travel with me.” It was just like any other morning, except I had particular excitement in my heart. “I am going home!” I shouted it in my heart. Suddenly, my mobile phone vibrated. Ibu Glenys. “Dear, where are you?” I gasped. Her voice sounded a little bit strange. “The plane will be leaving in 3 minutes. If you are not here in 3 minutes, they will leave Meulaboh without you.” My heart stopped beating. “Bu Glenys, the plane is normally flying at 8 o’clock. It is not 7 o’clock.” I am not sure why I said that. “Yes, dear, it is almost Idul Fitri. Thus, the planes fly three times a day and the first flight is at 7.”

I thanked her, turned of my mobile, asked Pak Khairul (my driver) to rush and prayed. THANK GOD! I made it.

I was very relieved, double relieved, I reckon. I arrived in Medan safely. I was a little bit upset because I thought that I only needed to wait for 1.5 hours; yet because the flight from Meulaboh flew one-hour earlier, I had to wait for 2.5 hours. Gosh! Waiting is always unpleasant, is it? However I had fun. I brought my notes and I wrote (some of my writing will be shared in this blog ASAP). “Because of operational issue, the flight to Jakarta is delayed for 1 hour.” I was even more disappointed. Gosh,.. Yet, I was very into writing. I wrote quite a few pages.

Before I realised it, I was already in the plane to Jakarta. I sat next to a very nice old chap from Central Java. Two hours went by. I was very happy because within a couple hours I would be in Surabaya, meeting my parents and especially Stefy.

In Jakarta, it turned out to be a hassle, too. *Take a deep breath, Nia!* I reckon, it was because of the weather (very changeable) and operational issue that almost all Lion Air flights were delayed. My flight to Surabaya was delayed for 2 hours. My goodness.

Thus, that time I decided to read "five languages of love for singles". Good that I carried a book with me.

*One hour went by*

I took my Notes and a pen. I wrote again. This time, I didn't really enjoy writing. I had to write to kill my time.

Finally the announcement said that we could board.

Long story short, I arrived at Juanda Airport Surabaya, in a very bad condition - tired and upset. Another problem turned out in the Airport. My luggage was missing. I had to report to Lion Air office and waited for quite some times.

What a day! So far I remember, I travelled for 14 hours. Hahahaa,.. I could be in the Netherlands with the same amount of travel time.

Anyway,.. I am glad to be back in Surabaya. Idul Fitri!!!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Really in town

I hate to be back.
Wait! Not be back in town, yet to be back to see that my blog is such a crap! Many spams. Many people tried to burn down my blog. Hate it! Ho,.. bless you all!

Thus, now I decided to set up a new template. Not a good one, really. I just try to avoid those spammers!

Anyway, here am I. Back in Town, very brown, brownish hair (because of the sun), full of mosquito bites, and happy!! :D

I have two weeks holiday (Idul Fitri, oy!) and I will use my days as good as possible.

Friends, I would still love to read you blogs. It was my mistake not to save your blog adresses. SInce I now have a new template, I missed them all. Thus, can you please send me your blog address? thank you!!!!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Going back soon

It has been a couple of weeks in Meulaboh, West Aceh.
I cannot believe that I have to go back to Surabaya next week.

It does not mean that my journey has ended; yet I think I will start another real journey.

I will fly back to Surabaya to consult my decision to stay permanently in Meulaboh for at least a year.

Are you nuts?

No,.. I state this clearly. I write this in a very healthy condition.

How has it been in Meulaboh?

First thing I would say is internet connection is very bad. I better finish up my stody when I am in Surabaya.

That's all, folks! Please do pray for me :)

How's everybody, anyway ? update me !!!

Friday, October 06, 2006

Newest me

My newest picture
Posed in front of waterfall near Lake Toba with my colleagues.

Oh dear me,...
I am still sassy and childish!
Grow up, please :P