Holiday

Seriously, I can shout out this word. HOLIDAY!!!

After what I have been through lately, I reckon I deserve a real holiday.

Okay,... I will tell you my plan. Thus you can pray for me, too. Okay, peepz?

1st March
Flying to Medan, to meet my friend, mas Wahyu, and maybe Bang Bi-e, and continue my flight to Jakarta. Hopefully, my cousin, or aunt will pick me up.

2nd - 4th March
WATCHING JAVA JAZZ FESTIVAL!!! I have been waiting for so long to watch this event. Thus, I 100% deserve to watch this festival. I will see Jamie Cullum performing, too.

During these days, I will meet up Ulmie (my dearest friend from NL, miz u ul!!!), Golda, B, Valent (friends from NL, too, but they are settling down (or trying to settle down) in Jakarta), Eddy (my old friend or brother for me), my dearest family (cousins, aunts, uncles, and many more), and, last but not least, STEFY :)

Please pray for the meeting with Stefy, as we are going to talk a lot about our relationship. Thanks, peepz.

5th - 7th March
I and Stefy (and probably Ulmie) are going to Bandung, with the train from Jakarta. We are going to shop and enjoy the nature in Bandung.

I will meet up Lerina (my friend from Meulaboh. She is now back in Bandung for a a while). She is gonna take me to shop, enjoy traditional stuff in Bandung, and we are certainly going to design Bikers' t-shirt and have it printed in Bandung.

7th - 9th March
I will be in Jakarta. I will have my hair cut, for sure!!! I will buy books (OBLIGATORY) and probably go to a movie with, again, Stefy :P 9th March, in the morning, I will fly back to Aceh.

See you then,...
I will give you good stories about my trip (good picz too)

Breakdown

Lord, are we talking?

It seems like it’s been a while. My voice to you feels weak. There’s no doubt about my belief, but I guess believing doesn’t count as communication. (I think I’ve assumed that it does without really thinking about it.) I can believe in my wife and not talk to her for a week. How long has it been since you heard from me – really heard from me? If I have to ask that question, it must have been a while. Somehow I’ve got you doing nothing but waiting around to hear from me while I go about my business oblivious to our lack of communication. Like I’ve got more important things to do than you do. Ouch! That sounds pretty close to blasphemy, making me wonder how often I blaspheme you with my ignorant assumptions.

Is our relationship more important to you than it is to me? If it is, I am grossly overestimating my own importance. The issue is not whether you are on my side; the question is: Am I on yours? And only I can answer that. Am I centering my life on you? The fact that the lines of communication seem rusty right now indicates there is a lot of inequity here.

What do I need to do to get back in touch? What’s that? I’m doing it right now? You just want my attention and you’ll take it any way it comes – through joy, sorrow, confession, pain, or the reestablishment of communication? That seems almost too easy. What’s that you’re saying? “Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

I think I’m getting it now. No matter how far I may have strayed away, it’s always a short trip back. The breakdown in communication was only on my part, never yours. I don’t have to retrace my steps back to the last place I got off before I can hear you again, because you’ve been dogging me the whole way. As soon as I turn my heart and attention toward you, you are there to meet me because you never left.

It seems almost too good to be true. Where did I get the idea it’s supposed to be so hard?

purposedrivelife.com

Quotes of the day 2

Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through greatness of mind - Aristotle

Quotes for the day

I know how hard it is when you have to smile even though your heart is actually crying - N. Limanto (20.02.07)

Love hurts

Pain is your friend, your ally, it will tell you when you are seriously injured, it will keep you awake and angry, and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain? - It lets you know you're not dead yet!

(Master Chief John Urgayle - G.I. Jane Quote)

Have you ever loved someone, really cared about someone that in the end hated you or even cursed you?

It hurts, indeed.

God, You know how much I love them, really love them.

I am feeling the pain, Chief!

I am afraid

I was just thinking, "when was the last time I felt very afraid?" Not a worry or concern, but really afraid that is more a fear of something serious, something dangerous.

I cannot remember.

I think it was in the year 1998 when Suharto was still the president of Indonesia and many people disagreed. There was some kind of revolution movement. People went on strike. There were riots everywhere.

I was, then, at home, with my mom and lil' brotha. I was very afraid, very much. I was frightened. I thought that people would come to our house and kidnap me and my brother, or probably rape me (because I was teenager then, and the issue was many female teenagers were being raped). My mom hugged both me and my brotha. I remember singing "pelangi kasih" at that time. We prayed for hours and hours, until we fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up, and nothing happened.

I am now in a quite frightening situation. There have been some threads against me and my organisation. As a Public Relation officer, I have to represent the whole organisation. It's kind of having all the burdens in my shoulder. I am afraid. Honestly, I am not afraid of being killed, because I know that the God I praise will grant me eternal life; yet I am just afraid of not being able to end this issue and will affect other parties, too.

Or honestly, I am afraid of my disability, I reckon. A naughty feeling just came across me, "Nia, you shouldn't be here, actually."

What I would like to happen right now is just being hugged by someone, preferably God or, to make it possible, my mom, and fall asleep. I wish that when I wake up, I would find everything is better and no more tears in my eyes.

Thank to my friend who sent me this SMS this morning:
for the power of the wicked will be broken,
but the LORD upholds the righteous

Please pray for me, friends

New word for this week: übersexual.

According to Wikipedia, this word is originally from German (über = above, superior) and Latin (sexus = gender). In the book, ‘Future of Men’, written by Ira Matathia, Maria Slazman, and Ann O’Relly, übersexual is one of the concepts of masculinity. Different to metrosexual men that are confident because of their perfect physical appearance, übersexual men have the true confidence and are charming; they have a flaming charisma.

(“Selamat Tinggal Pria Metroseksual, Kompas, 21 January 2007)

Goodbye Mr. Metrosexual!

I am 100% agree with this statement. In this globalization era (this was how I started my reports back in the university time), in this I-pod and silicon chip era, and in this outsource/offshore business, we no longer need metrosexual men, do we? What a man in a tight stripy shirt, boot-cut jeans, and leather shoes, with dyed hair, styled a la Japan boy, can do in a high competitive, multinational, IT Company. Hm, probably he can do something.

But how about men that visit his hairdresser twice or three times in a week just to make sure that he looks okay and moreover he knows exactly the price of every beauty treatment like peeling, hair spa, and body spa? How about men that regularly shop at Zara to buy the newest belt, or ring, or bracelet, or cap, or other accessories to make him more attractive?

Ladies and gentlemen, it is not a sin to shop at Zara or to go to hairdresser. Everybody needs his hair fixed, right? What I underline here is if these activities become his behavior. First, it cost a lot of money. Second, why on earth don’t you make up your brain instead of your physical appearance?

Übersexual men is not the geeks that you found always sitting in front of the teacher in high-school time, wearing thick glasses and well ironed long sleeves white shirt, and carrying dictionaries and some other encyclopedias around. These men are trendy. They are clean and well-dressed, even though he doesn’t always know the latest fashion.

Übersexual men knows who Ahmadinejad is or at least he knows what happened with Adam Air flight. You can talk about politics, economics and other issues in the world with them, even though they are not expert in any of those issues; at least, they understand.

Kompas mentioned Bono as an übersexual icon, together with George Clooney and Bill Clinton. I support Bono. I don’t like the rest. Bono is a public figure. He is a singer of a well-known, high-class band. Yet, he knows what happened in Africa. He knows that thousands of children need to be fed in Darfur.

Finally, Kompas listed 4 differences between metro- and übersexual men:

• Übersexual man has interest in principle issues; yet metrosexual man in himself
• Übersexual man spends his time to improve his intellectual rather than his look (or hair)
• Both metro- and übersexual men do respect women; yet übersexual man have more male friends
• Übersexual man is sensual, yet not self-conscious

I am wondering whether there is a type of man that is more aware of his brain, improving his knowledge, skills and intellectual, yet at the same time isn’t neglecting his outer look, AND acknowledges the existence and sovereignty of God, considering that spiritual matter is very important.

It is like übersexual man with a little something (important) extra.

Have you ever found a man with this specification? Let me know! *giggling*

My apology to my dearest friend

Dear my friend,

I have been acting silly lately. Maybe you haven’t yet noticed my silly attitudes, because you can’t even reach me howsoever.

I know it is not your fault, but I did blame you for a while. Okay, for a little longer while. Sorry, I have been acting as such a loser not to want encountering this issue. It is such a tiny issue, yet I am a coward. I know I am.

Even my little sister, Joan, is better in speaking up her feeling.

I was very disappointed because you shared the update about me I told you about another day to someone else. I remember, I had mentioned to you not to tell anyone, by this I meant, to tell nobody, about my issue. I know that the person to whom you shared that update was not even close to be called ‘someone else’, yet I was upset in a way you are not accountable to keep secret.

It is not only about the secret that I mumbled. The issue I told you was not easy, not at all easy. It was something that I am proud of and people adore. If someone else knows that issue, I have to admit, I would be very embarrassed. I would feel belittle.

I was upset. Yet, we have been friends for four years and it is very childish to avoid you like this. I know this so-called letter in a blog is also a sort of loser-ness, yet I am comfortable to do this. To encounter you personally is also another step that I am afraid to do.

Sorry once again, it is not your fault. It was just me, being burdened by so many troubles and I sortof blamed you for something you didn’t even know or do.

I am okay right now. The problem is still there but it slowly fades away. I have been given clarity from Above.

Sister, thanks a lot for your understanding. Soon you read this blog, please do send me an e-mail.

With lots and lots of love,

Your ex-roommate