Flash Back 2001 [part 2]
Surprised?
I did, too.
What I remember is my mom cried. No, she didn’t cry in front of me. She went out, stood in front of the room, and cried. My dad was out of town for his business, thus I assumed my mom called him immediately because I saw him not long after X-Ray scene.
My mom’s best friends came, tried to calm her down. She was really shocked.
How about me?
I stunned. I cried and I smiled.
Smile??
If you know me well, you would be familiar with my smile to cover up what actually happen in my heart.
I did the same smile.
When no one in the room, I cried loudly, sobbed until I ran out of tears. When someone came in to the room, and asked how I was, or at least calmed me down, I would say that I was okay, I didn’t cry. Instead, I lied that it was my stomachache that made me cry.
Shortly, on that night, I tried to be strong, so that no one would feel sorry for me, or at least I would ease my mom’s pain. If she saw me crying and sobbing, she would be more depressed.
(in the first class non-air conditioner room)
Everybody comes and goes. I am confused with all these.
A doctor said that I am really ill and another said that I don’t have to be that worry – everything would be fine.
One said that I got a tumor, but another said that it wasn’t that bad.
(it is typical Indonesian doctors)
The best thing that happened that night was when Stefy (I hope everybody know who he is) came to the hospital. In the afternoon, I’d sent him SMS to let me know that I was in the hospital. Although I didn’t mention what wrong with me was. He insisted to know, thus I’d said that I got appendicitis.
He comes into the room; my friend who was there for a while went out because he knows that ‘the one’ has come.
He looks at me; he searched for the truth in my eyes, I reckon.
He asked, “So, tell me what’s wrong! (something like that, I think)”
I keep silent.
I don’t want to tell the truth. I don’t want to share him my problem.
Thus, I said again that I have appendicitis.
But,.. he knows that I lie.
He knows.
Thus in the end, I say the truth. “I have tumor in my ovary”.
He stuns; he looks at me again, and he holds my hand.
You know why it is the best part of that night, because he held my hand for the first time in seven months. Hehhehe,.. don’t laugh, don’t be surprised because we are about to move to the next part of my story.
(The next day)
A doctor from gynecology comes into my room. My mom’s best friend called him last night and told me about my condition. My mom’s best friend is a dentist, so she knows a lot of doctors. Thus, she recommended this doctor to observe me.
(It was the worst)
He examines my body and my sickness unpleasantly. I don’t have to tell you how, but it is really bad. I just cry, because it is really hurt.
In the end, he comes up with a conclusion, that I don’t have serious tumor in my body.
THANKS GOD!!
He explains that I have cysts in my ovary that are similar with tumors.
Cyst is “An abnormal membranous sac containing a gaseous, liquid, or semisolid substance” (http://www.dictionary.com/)
I could not really explain what cyst is and how it happened, but basically the doctor said that I didn’t have to worry because I just need ‘special treatment’ that could reduce the amount of the cysts and shrink the size.
(Afterwards,…)
So, what happen next?
I am still alive!! I am complete, except the ‘special treatment’ that almost killed me. After I was out from the hospital, the doctors told me to go to a gynecology to check my condition regularly. There, I had the ‘special treatment’, which is actually hormone treatment. I had to take pills every night and go to gynecology to get special observation to check how my little-cutie-cysts are. Please, don’t even imagine what they do to me, because they put ‘something’ into my body to check the cysts,… thus next part is better censored.
Just for you information, it is kind of a virus that couldn’t totally disappear from your body. Therefore I really need to take care of myself well. I couldn’t eat red meat (that’s why I now become totally vegetarian), no fast food, no canned products, basically, avoid unhealthy things! When my period comes, I usually would feel unusual pain in my stomach (of course). This pain might also come when I am too tired.
Okay,.. thus basically I am okay. Don’t worry, friends!
However, God indeed let this happened because He wanted me to learn something.
I will tell you in the next post.
I am tired now.
Tomorrow will go to work.
Good night everyone!
God Bless you
I did, too.
What I remember is my mom cried. No, she didn’t cry in front of me. She went out, stood in front of the room, and cried. My dad was out of town for his business, thus I assumed my mom called him immediately because I saw him not long after X-Ray scene.
My mom’s best friends came, tried to calm her down. She was really shocked.
How about me?
I stunned. I cried and I smiled.
Smile??
If you know me well, you would be familiar with my smile to cover up what actually happen in my heart.
I did the same smile.
When no one in the room, I cried loudly, sobbed until I ran out of tears. When someone came in to the room, and asked how I was, or at least calmed me down, I would say that I was okay, I didn’t cry. Instead, I lied that it was my stomachache that made me cry.
Shortly, on that night, I tried to be strong, so that no one would feel sorry for me, or at least I would ease my mom’s pain. If she saw me crying and sobbing, she would be more depressed.
(in the first class non-air conditioner room)
Everybody comes and goes. I am confused with all these.
A doctor said that I am really ill and another said that I don’t have to be that worry – everything would be fine.
One said that I got a tumor, but another said that it wasn’t that bad.
(it is typical Indonesian doctors)
The best thing that happened that night was when Stefy (I hope everybody know who he is) came to the hospital. In the afternoon, I’d sent him SMS to let me know that I was in the hospital. Although I didn’t mention what wrong with me was. He insisted to know, thus I’d said that I got appendicitis.
He comes into the room; my friend who was there for a while went out because he knows that ‘the one’ has come.
He looks at me; he searched for the truth in my eyes, I reckon.
He asked, “So, tell me what’s wrong! (something like that, I think)”
I keep silent.
I don’t want to tell the truth. I don’t want to share him my problem.
Thus, I said again that I have appendicitis.
But,.. he knows that I lie.
He knows.
Thus in the end, I say the truth. “I have tumor in my ovary”.
He stuns; he looks at me again, and he holds my hand.
You know why it is the best part of that night, because he held my hand for the first time in seven months. Hehhehe,.. don’t laugh, don’t be surprised because we are about to move to the next part of my story.
(The next day)
A doctor from gynecology comes into my room. My mom’s best friend called him last night and told me about my condition. My mom’s best friend is a dentist, so she knows a lot of doctors. Thus, she recommended this doctor to observe me.
(It was the worst)
He examines my body and my sickness unpleasantly. I don’t have to tell you how, but it is really bad. I just cry, because it is really hurt.
In the end, he comes up with a conclusion, that I don’t have serious tumor in my body.
THANKS GOD!!
He explains that I have cysts in my ovary that are similar with tumors.
Cyst is “An abnormal membranous sac containing a gaseous, liquid, or semisolid substance” (http://www.dictionary.com/)
I could not really explain what cyst is and how it happened, but basically the doctor said that I didn’t have to worry because I just need ‘special treatment’ that could reduce the amount of the cysts and shrink the size.
(Afterwards,…)
So, what happen next?
I am still alive!! I am complete, except the ‘special treatment’ that almost killed me. After I was out from the hospital, the doctors told me to go to a gynecology to check my condition regularly. There, I had the ‘special treatment’, which is actually hormone treatment. I had to take pills every night and go to gynecology to get special observation to check how my little-cutie-cysts are. Please, don’t even imagine what they do to me, because they put ‘something’ into my body to check the cysts,… thus next part is better censored.
Just for you information, it is kind of a virus that couldn’t totally disappear from your body. Therefore I really need to take care of myself well. I couldn’t eat red meat (that’s why I now become totally vegetarian), no fast food, no canned products, basically, avoid unhealthy things! When my period comes, I usually would feel unusual pain in my stomach (of course). This pain might also come when I am too tired.
Okay,.. thus basically I am okay. Don’t worry, friends!
However, God indeed let this happened because He wanted me to learn something.
I will tell you in the next post.
I am tired now.
Tomorrow will go to work.
Good night everyone!
God Bless you
posted by Oma Nia at
3:19 AM
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