friends, forever?

friendship
\Friend"ship\, n. [AS. fre['o]ndscipe. See Friend, and -ship.] 1. The state of being friends; friendly relation, or attachment, to a person, or between persons; affection arising from mutual esteem and good will; friendliness; amity; good will. (http://www.dictionary.com)

you must be wondering why I put a definition about friendship above, yes, I would like to share, or probably, discuss, what we normally think about friendship, specifically best friends.

is friendship just a relation with your friends when you go out with them every saturday night? is it a relation with people that you meet everyday at school or work? are they your housemates that you call best friends? or does friendship mean close relation with your best friends, someone that you can trust, you can rely onto and share a lot of things together? does best friends suppose to mean people that support you in good and bad times?

or is it just me that pathetically think this pattern?

I used to adore friendship, forever friends, best friends etc. I loved my friends. Do you remember when you were at high school, most of you must think that your parents were not modern. They didn't understand you. You felt really bad at home and you better relied on your mates, your 'friends'. I did.

Then, once, I lost all of them. Ironic, isn't it?
I would not tell the full-version of the story, but basically, I'd learned that not every friends were your best friends. I should not easily trust people and think they are your best friends. Since then, I thought that friendship hardly existed. I did promise to myself not to easily trust people.

It worked.
I didn't have friends for a while. I became extra-introvert. I always stayed in my comfort zone. But once, I felt empty, lonely.
When I came to netherlands to study, I was deadly jealous with groups of students who were really close to each other as if they were brothers and sisters. I thought, "Uh... I want to be like them. I want to have friends that could treat me as their friend and sister as well, since I am alone here."

God made my wish come true. I did have what I wanted.
but now, the beautiful so-called friendship cheated on me again.

I was questioning lately, what if your 'best friends' or, you can call them your brothers or sisters because you were really close to them, you live under the same roof and had share a lot of things together, exclude you from the topic that they'd shared to each other?
you know what I mean?
thus, they shared something to each other, that is actually quite important, but they didn't tell you at all.

At one hand, I felt, okay, I am ridiculous, I am not supposed to get angry, I don't have a right to. But, on the other hand, I felt really really dissapointed. Who did they think I am if they didn't share something important to me? If we are that close and they still think I am a stranger, oh,.. okay,.. I am sorry, It could possibly that I assumed it wrong.

Bacon said "there is little friendship in the world". it is so true. Only One who can always be your true friend.