When I thought it was finished,..
...,there would be another beginning.
The end
After four years of having long distance relationship with Stefy, I sighed. On the 16th of July 2006, I saw him with joy (although I was late for morning service. I supposed to go to the 6 o’clock service; yet I woke up at 6 o’clock) wondering I would never be separated from him again. Never again.
We had such a wonderful long distance relationship. You cannot generally define the word ‘wonderful’ with happy, joyful and without any trials. A big NO for that. However, if we see what has happened in the past, how our relationship has been, we cannot stop thanking God for all of those.
I always say to Stefy, if we share about our relationship, in details, and just leave out the image of God from our stories, there will be a huge gap; because everything would seem impossible.
Can you imagine a couple, two persons in a serious relationship, with an infrequent communication between them, yet they are still fall in love and they have a good two-ways communication?
Can you imagine a couple that has been separated for four years but when they see each other they are still crazy about each other and cannot stop saying “I love you”?
Can you imagine a couple going through a long, very long, distance relationship with full trust and commitment, although one of them has almost done something bad to another?
Can you ever imagine a couple that can still forgive each other after what has happened in the past although they didn’t even know what would come in the future?
If we exclude God from this story, I would state clearly: I CANNOT!
I, once, said something extreme to Stefy: “if we ever forget how good our God is or have a terrible relationship with Him, we should remember how amazing He has been to us by blessing our long distance relationship. This is one of thousands special things He has voluntarily done for us.”
At the beginning
It turned out that I might be wrong this time. I normally hate being wrong, therefore I wouldn’t say a word if something isn’t sure. This time I have to admit that I might be wrong.
I, first, thought, or should I say, planned that I would first find a job in Surabaya or the farthest, Jakarta, work there for a year of two or three while I would be obtaining a Master degree. Another plan is to go to Australia, only for a year, straight away, and then find a job in Surabaya and settle here.
I might be wrong.
Sorry for not sharing what I would exactly be doing, but it is something quite tough and located quite far away from my home city, Surabaya. It is still not yet sure; yet I am praying for it. So far, many things have directed me to pray more about this special destination.
It is also strange because the more I pray about this plan, the more I get assurance to go to this place; yet I also get more job offers in SURABAYA. I don’t know! It is very odd!
Thus, ladies and gentlemen, as you probably have expected, yes, it would be another long distance relationship.
Stefy has given the approval to go; my mom has too; yet my dad hasn’t. Stefy’s granny did also a little bit disagree with my plan.
Apart from the general feeling about going to my next destination, I feel worry, anxiety, unsure, sad,.. many different feelings mixed up and poured into one heart. Specifically with my relationship, I don’t know where it will go. Will it follow me, follow him, and follow us? Will it let me go?
I still don’t know.
A prayer would be great, thank you.
The end
After four years of having long distance relationship with Stefy, I sighed. On the 16th of July 2006, I saw him with joy (although I was late for morning service. I supposed to go to the 6 o’clock service; yet I woke up at 6 o’clock) wondering I would never be separated from him again. Never again.
We had such a wonderful long distance relationship. You cannot generally define the word ‘wonderful’ with happy, joyful and without any trials. A big NO for that. However, if we see what has happened in the past, how our relationship has been, we cannot stop thanking God for all of those.
I always say to Stefy, if we share about our relationship, in details, and just leave out the image of God from our stories, there will be a huge gap; because everything would seem impossible.
Can you imagine a couple, two persons in a serious relationship, with an infrequent communication between them, yet they are still fall in love and they have a good two-ways communication?
Can you imagine a couple that has been separated for four years but when they see each other they are still crazy about each other and cannot stop saying “I love you”?
Can you imagine a couple going through a long, very long, distance relationship with full trust and commitment, although one of them has almost done something bad to another?
Can you ever imagine a couple that can still forgive each other after what has happened in the past although they didn’t even know what would come in the future?
If we exclude God from this story, I would state clearly: I CANNOT!
I, once, said something extreme to Stefy: “if we ever forget how good our God is or have a terrible relationship with Him, we should remember how amazing He has been to us by blessing our long distance relationship. This is one of thousands special things He has voluntarily done for us.”
At the beginning
It turned out that I might be wrong this time. I normally hate being wrong, therefore I wouldn’t say a word if something isn’t sure. This time I have to admit that I might be wrong.
I, first, thought, or should I say, planned that I would first find a job in Surabaya or the farthest, Jakarta, work there for a year of two or three while I would be obtaining a Master degree. Another plan is to go to Australia, only for a year, straight away, and then find a job in Surabaya and settle here.
I might be wrong.
Sorry for not sharing what I would exactly be doing, but it is something quite tough and located quite far away from my home city, Surabaya. It is still not yet sure; yet I am praying for it. So far, many things have directed me to pray more about this special destination.
It is also strange because the more I pray about this plan, the more I get assurance to go to this place; yet I also get more job offers in SURABAYA. I don’t know! It is very odd!
Thus, ladies and gentlemen, as you probably have expected, yes, it would be another long distance relationship.
Stefy has given the approval to go; my mom has too; yet my dad hasn’t. Stefy’s granny did also a little bit disagree with my plan.
Apart from the general feeling about going to my next destination, I feel worry, anxiety, unsure, sad,.. many different feelings mixed up and poured into one heart. Specifically with my relationship, I don’t know where it will go. Will it follow me, follow him, and follow us? Will it let me go?
I still don’t know.
A prayer would be great, thank you.
posted by Oma Nia at
5:37 PM
2 Comments:
well sis, aku sangat mengerti perasaanmu dan kondisimu. yah, walopun ga berada dalam kondisi yang sama persis, tp aku juga struggle for my relationship. i always pray for you sis! apapun yang kita alami sekarang, juga apa yang ada di depan kita...aku belajar untuk percaya kalo rencana Tuhan selalu indah.
i pray for you, my sister
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