If I were a male

Have you ever had a good friend, a very good one, and she is much wealthier than you are?
Has she treated you like a beggar, giving you money, or throwing you with many presents?
Has she treated you like a true friend, supporting you in your ups and downs, no matter what?
And are you jealous to her? Or are you happy for her? Or do you use her?

Tricky, isn’t it?
If you have been through this situation, yes, I have, too, and I am.

I am far from being jealous or am I feeling nothing next to her. She and I are equal. She doesn’t act as a boss paying all the bills or giving me abundant presents. No,.. that’s what I like from her.

I have never asked of money from her. I have a high pride, tho I was once in a difficult financial situation and she, indeed, offered me some helps, I refused it. Yeah,.. it’s my pride!

Her parents? Ah,.. they are okay with me. I know them quite well and they don’t treat me bad either. On the other hand, my parents sometimes remind me to know where I stand; to know that her parents are much richer that mine.

A couple of days a go, I went to a department store with her. I, honestly, don’t like shopping with friends. I don’t like waiting neither do I like people waiting for me. I decided not to look around; yet she did. I was waiting for her. It was a pleasure to accompany her. I felt a privilege to walk with her, although I had to wait. Seeing her picking some clothes was such a nice view. I liked it.

Then, when she paid her shopping, I was shock to death. The amount of money she paid was probably enough to buy ten decent clothes for me.

It was a time, the only time, I felt so down. Was I jealous? Probably! I found it unfair. If I want to buy clothes, I have to wait until for Discount period. If I want to buy something with a normal price, I have to go to the cheapest department store (with good quality, of course). Seeing her just walking in to and out from the stores and having what she wanted irritated me, indeed.

After shopping, we had a little chat while we were walking around this (new) department store. She told me about how her father loved cars and planned to buy a new one; she told me about her mom’s bad habit in spending money to buy expansive, brand clothes and bags. If I had had the courage, I would have screamed, shut up, you hurt me!

We went home earlier than what we had expected. She didn’t know all the thought swimming in my head. I am actually not good in keeping secrets, but that time, I could handle myself. As we entered her car, I had a glimpse: this relationship couldn’t go on like this. I am unequal. We are different – from a totally different world.

Ah, probably I am just too pathetic. It is my parents that do not have money, that are not wealthy. I can be different. I can bring some changes.

Once, I ever asked “Whose fault is it? Who has sinned? My parents or me? So that my family has to go through this financial situation?” The Son of Man answered me, clearly “you are asking the wrong question. You are looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do.” He added, “this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in your life.” (John 9:3, the message and NIV).

I haven’t told her about this.
Do you think I should talk to her about this?
I am sure she didn’t mean it to shop like that in front of me, or told me stories about her parents.
Ah, I was probably too sensitive.
Thanks for letting me sharing this. Let me know what you think.