An apology
This is more than just a blog-writing, or sharing,…
I shut my mouth.
There was hatred.
He had been doing this for quite a while; I’d had enough.
He was still laughing; he laughed out at me.
Okay, that’s fine!
I silenced.
I chose not to ignore him.
He still laughed at me.
“I cannot understand how you could still love her.”
“Salute for you!”
He still did not notice that I was very upset.
Finally.
“Come on! You are not angry, are you?”
“It was just a joke.”
But I have a heart.
***
I would like to send my apology to my dear friends, my ex housemates that have suffered from my bad habit, my worst habit: getting upset (alias “suka BT”). I knew that I was the most moody person in the whole house, probably the one and only person that has ever suffered from that kind of illness. I knew that I often locked myself in my room to calm down. Or probably, I would get upset by the time got home from work.
I realized that.
But what I didn’t know was that I made you, all, upset. I made you felt uncomfortable.
I thought by locking myself in a room would calm down myself. Sometimes it worked, but another time I would still feel horrible tough I had locked myself in my room while watching Scrubs for almost a day.
I thought by walking away and shutting my mouth would cure the pain and wouldn’t hurt anyone else. Yet, I bottled up everything and, once, it would explode.
The worst thing was I thought you, as my housemates, had been used to it; yet you did get annoyed by me. You probably ignored me; yet you probably couldn’t stand me any longer.
I, now, realize that my habit wouldn’t go just like a snap! I have to put some efforts to change it; I have to do something.
“We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10: 5)
I flashed back to the trip I made last year when I received this verse from a good friend of mine. Yes, I can do that! I have to take captive every thought, especially bad thoughts in my brain, and make it obedient to Christ. I am sure He didn’t want His children to think negatively or behave bad.
***
“I am sorry”
“I did not mean to hurt you. I really didn’t mean that.”
You shouldn’t be.
Because you have helped me to realize: this is time to be different, Nia!
Thank you for being extremely patient to me for years.
You comprehend me.
Yet, this is time you support me, thus, I can be a better person.
I shut my mouth.
There was hatred.
He had been doing this for quite a while; I’d had enough.
He was still laughing; he laughed out at me.
Okay, that’s fine!
I silenced.
I chose not to ignore him.
He still laughed at me.
“I cannot understand how you could still love her.”
“Salute for you!”
He still did not notice that I was very upset.
Finally.
“Come on! You are not angry, are you?”
“It was just a joke.”
But I have a heart.
***
I would like to send my apology to my dear friends, my ex housemates that have suffered from my bad habit, my worst habit: getting upset (alias “suka BT”). I knew that I was the most moody person in the whole house, probably the one and only person that has ever suffered from that kind of illness. I knew that I often locked myself in my room to calm down. Or probably, I would get upset by the time got home from work.
I realized that.
But what I didn’t know was that I made you, all, upset. I made you felt uncomfortable.
I thought by locking myself in a room would calm down myself. Sometimes it worked, but another time I would still feel horrible tough I had locked myself in my room while watching Scrubs for almost a day.
I thought by walking away and shutting my mouth would cure the pain and wouldn’t hurt anyone else. Yet, I bottled up everything and, once, it would explode.
The worst thing was I thought you, as my housemates, had been used to it; yet you did get annoyed by me. You probably ignored me; yet you probably couldn’t stand me any longer.
I, now, realize that my habit wouldn’t go just like a snap! I have to put some efforts to change it; I have to do something.
“We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10: 5)
I flashed back to the trip I made last year when I received this verse from a good friend of mine. Yes, I can do that! I have to take captive every thought, especially bad thoughts in my brain, and make it obedient to Christ. I am sure He didn’t want His children to think negatively or behave bad.
***
“I am sorry”
“I did not mean to hurt you. I really didn’t mean that.”
You shouldn’t be.
Because you have helped me to realize: this is time to be different, Nia!
Thank you for being extremely patient to me for years.
You comprehend me.
Yet, this is time you support me, thus, I can be a better person.
posted by Oma Nia at
4:42 PM
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