It's about Love (1)

“Experience of falling in love: having tingles in your heart - your heart is bouncing so fast, you feel nervous.

“It is actually easy to fall in love with someone you shouldn’t marry with. If you notice that you and your partner don’t march the drum in the same beat.

Garry Chapman said “the state of being In Love only exists two years. Afterwards you should learn to love, because God wants that the Love, based on His Unconditional Love, exists forever, all of your life. Read John 13:34-35!” (…Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.)

Garry Chapman said again about the tingles, that if we follow them, we might get married six or seven times. A tingle, feeling the tingles, is not a sin, because it is a state of admiring someone, since the person is nice, beautiful, success, etc. Yet, it would become a sin if you start to ‘play’ with it.

I went to a seminary, which the speaker is Garry Chapman. He is a famous Christian writer, who wrote the book Five Language of Love. I’d had no clue about this seminary, but my neighbor asked me whether I would go. That night, I didn’t have anything to do, thus,.. yes, it happened.

He spoke a lot about love, in marriage, as well as love universally.

Back to the topic above (heheh, a little bit as a lecture in a class). Let’s say that I, who already have a boyfriend, met someone, at the office, cute, tall, smart, half Indonesian, and apparently he is a musician, Okay, I would certainly adore him, saying to my colleague that he is adorable; I would feel something in my heart, a tingle, especially if he stared at me with his a special look, too. If I just stop at that point, only admiring him, that’s it! Anything else won’t happen. However, if I took another step, exchanging telephone number, e-mail address, making plans to meet each other and further and further, I would play with a fire here.

I admit that I’ve fallen to a certain point because of the tingles. When Garry Chapman said about feeling the tingles, he also said that we wouldn’t only feel them when we are young, but anytime, even when we get older. I found that it is really true. I felt the tingles, not only with the one I’ve already had, but also a couple times with the ones I admire. The process was always the same. I admire him because he was nice, or at least he was being nice to me. He gave me the attention that I need; I could talk easily to him, and in the end bump!!... the tingles grow, and grow, and grow.

It is not really easy to have a long distance relationship, because there is a time when I need attention so desperately; especially I am not living with my parents or close family in the Netherlands. Sometimes I feel so lonely that when someone enters my life, giving the right attention I need, everything impossible would happen.

So, how can we overcome the tingles?

It was a great point that spoke to me directly.
Go away from the cause! If the one you admire always comes to same supermarket at certain times, don’t come at that time. If the one you like is in the same sport club, don’t come to the sport club. If your classmate you fancy would stand somewhere waiting for you, do take another way and avoid him.
It is not easy, indeed, but God shall be with you. He will be there in your difficult time. (Isaiah 41:10)

Believe it or not, I was JUST in this kind of situation. Not bad, not at all, but it was a start. He gave me the attention, phone calls I need (and I miss from Mr. Weirdo), but, thanks God, he was just in the wrong time. I am now so crazy in love with the one called Mr. Weirdo (hopefully he feels the same as I do). Anyway, Go Away from the source, was indeed a good solution.