One night in Amsterdam

Staring at people
they walking behind you
beside you
beyond you
what do you expect next ?
what happen is you are into it
the greed that you sweat
lush that you breathe
you are addicted

I don't know why. I just got home, opened my laptop (actually it's my flatmate laptop), and came up with the poem above.

I went to Amsterdam this evening. I promised to my friend to go somewhere with him. I did not truly want to go, not because I don't enjoy going with my friend, but I just don't have money. However, for me, promise is a promise. We would actually go to one Jazz Cafe, Bitterzoet cafe, but we didn't because it seemed so boring. Thus, we decided to go to another cafe, Gateaway cafe. It was okay.

When you asked the reason behind my poem, I would tell you that I was not comfortable at all in Amsterdam. By the time I arrived at Dam Square, I just saw people surrounded me. Stores are everywhere, selling lush and greed. First, maybe I felt that I wanted them. I wanted new clothes, shoes, accessories, and many more. Then, remember what happened in my family at this moment, I felt gulity, I felt uncomfortable at all, and then in the end I went mad. I was just not belong to that community.

I was asking God, why? How could I afford all those things I need (or maybe I want)? Then, in the end, I remember God been saying through Paul in Philipians 4:6, "Don't be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanks giving, present your request to God"

Fewh,.. thank's God for reminding me!! sorry for being so greed and doubt Your Love to me.