We need honesty, but,..

Lately, I've been suffering for a new sickness called 'guilty feeling of honesty'. Weird huh?

When we talk about honesty, okay, who's not agree with me that honesty is crucial thing, please raise their hands!! (I don't see any hands, hehe). However, what I felt lately is so weird. Okay,.. let's pretend that you did something wrong, hm... maybe you forgot you forgot your appointment with me. Then, I got angry with you and I'd tell you (nicely of course) that what you did was totally wrong. You supposed to write your appointment on your agenda. Okay,.. shortly, let's say that everything was fine in the end.

Then, after I got back home (maybe), I would start thinking what I did say to you. Did I say it right? Did I say it with an anger tone, or did I insult you? I would then think a lot of things negatively.

"So then, what's the point of honesty if in the of the day you would feel guilty?!!" (I asked it to myself)

I just don't understand the whole stupidity than happens in my heart. I have been trying to organising the whole 'mind mapping' with: first think first. Thus, think firstly what you gonna say to other people. If you are mad, or not in the right mood, just take a deeeep breath (fewh,...) and then pray (don't forget to exhale, you can't keep your breath forever, can't you? heheh). If you really really get angry, just avoid the people (it's my personal tip, that's what I always do). If you can't talk with that person right away, just avoid him/her, and find another moment to talk to.

The lesson above was done; I could manage it. However, another problem that comes is after it's done; after you've talked to someone and you got a weird feeling questioning what you just said, whether it was right or wrong. I am now working on it. What I plan is to pray (again, coz I think it's the most powerful way to help me) and ask God to get rid all the false feelings in your mind.

Hope it's gonna work out. Since honest is a good thing, I believe God will guide you.

God Bless