Am I the next caller?

Hold Voice: Please, stay on the line. Your call is important to us.

Monica: Okay, wait, you gotta hang up ‘cause we’re gonna be late.

(Phoebe starts to hang up the phone, but.) 

Hold Voice: Thank you for your patience, you’re the next caller.

Phoebe: Yes!! Yes!! I’m the next caller! You were gonna have me
hang up.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are returning. Phoebe is still on hold.]

Phoebe: Oh, is the play over?

Monica: Yeah. Where were you?

Hold Voice: Thank you for your patience, you’re the next caller.

Monica: You were the next caller five hours ago. You must be
going crazy.

I am not really a Friends-fan, but everyday, Monday till Friday, 8 o’clock is Friends-time for DieKa 85 (read: Diemerkade 85) citizens. We will sit in front of our teli. Some will have their dinner with them, some will still browse something on the internet while watching, and others will just watch the program.

I usually join them. It is fun to laugh together, although Friends doesn’t really make me laugh. Scrubs does. I love J.D.

Last week, I watched an episode, titled “The one with the screamer” (322). There were some scenes showing Pheobe calling a telephone company to fix her telephone; yet she was put on hold the whole time.

It was funny watching her silliness keep waiting to get helped from the phone company. Why on earth she wanted to wait for almost two days? Like Monica said, she must be going crazy.

* * *

On the way home from church this afternoon, I was cycling, enjoying the nature, the beautiful day. The sermon was quite hard to understand. If I think again, it wasn’t that difficult; yet it was difficult for me to digest it. It was like there was a big shield covering the Word of God.

I felt empty, distant.

Referring to Friends’ scenes I told you, I go through similar thing as Phoebe did. I have been put on hold, not by Phone Company, but by God.

I am now in a situation where I feel exhausted, tired.
I have been crying out to Him, asking for His helps, asking Him to do something. I and my family have been doing it for almost four years!
I am now in the point where I don’t know what is actually happening and what will happen.

God puts me on hold.
I feel like God is saying “Please hold the line, you are the next caller” or “Your call is important to me, please hold”

When will be my turn?
When will be our turn to feel Your touch, to experience Your help?

"Don't talk like a fool! If we accept blessings from God, we must accept trouble as well." (Job 2:10)

Haven’t I accepted these troubles?
Haven’t I learned something from these days?
What should I learn more?

* * *

I, now, know why I felt distant.
Why I couldn’t easily digest the sermon.

I have an unfinished business with God.
I dislike His authority.
I dislike His decision to make I and my family go through this path.

I forgot that God is love.
I forgot His unfailing love.

God, what’s wrong with me?
I evaluate my days: what have I been doing these days? What do I feel?

Suddenly, a picture came to my mind; an image, a vivid image seems to capture my feelings, all my feelings.

It is a picture of me standing on the top of the mountain, spreading my two arms: one is holding on to God’s hand, but at the same time trying to let loose God’s hands and another one is holding on to the earth, holding on tightly. My face is shunning, turning away from God, and I am looking to the earth. The background is dark blue, rainy sky.

* * *

No.
I am not fading away.
I will not let loose God’s hands.

When I am writing this post, I typed on Google: +hold +hand +God. I was looking for Bible verse to accompany this post. Yet, I found Whitney Houston old song: Hold on, Help is on the way.

When you're down and in despair
Don't be uneasy because he'll be there
Say don't you worry, no don't you fret
The Lord has never, never failed you yet

[Chorus:]
So hold on, help is on the way
Hold on, God is on his way
Hey hold on he's on his way
He told me to hold on
He's on his way
Hold on he's coming soon
Pray, he'll be there
Cmon now, yeah

Now when it seems that you can't stand
Just hold on to God's unchanging hand
Yeah, weeping may, yes, endure for just one night,
But joy will come in the morning light

He may not come when you want him
But he's right on time
But he'll be right there (on time)

Help is on the way (3x)
The word told me
If I ask he's on his way
I'm thankful cause I know he is

Come on just say, help
Come on just try, help
Ask him for a little bit, help
He'll give it to you right away, help
Help, Believe he's on his way now, help
Help, Know the help I know, help
I've called him before, help
He said his help on his way, help
Help is on the way
So glad to know

* * *

God, let me know that I am really the next caller.

I am the LORD your God.
I am holding your hand,
so don't be afraid.
I am here to help you.

(Isaiah 41: 13)

p.s. for you who have this song, please let me know. I would like to listen to it.