I fed a baby monster!

Imagine,..

You were a huge fan of Il Divo, or a rock band, Blink 182.
Or probably Coldplay.
Or some chicks like Pussycat Dolls.

One day, you happened meet someone at your college and he was a good friend of one of the band members.

Your Friend: I will introduce you to him or her.

I can bet that you would certainly not refuse his offer.

Now Nia, you imagine,..

You met a cute artist whom you have been a fan of for such a long time.
He asked your number, and from that point, something great could happen.
I honestly wouldn’t dare to imagine that kind of moment.

I used to be a huge fan of a soap series actor in Indonesia, called Teuku Ryan
or Bass player of Kahitna, Andry.

When I was 15 or something, I would imagine meeting one of them at some point.
But, more than that? I wouldn’t dare.
Because I know it would never come true.

When we think about doing something and play it out in our thoughts, it makes it that much easier to engage in the behaviour.

I was and still am a fan of Christian group band in Indonesia. I like it very much because its songs are different. The songs are usually pop, but with Christian touch. I like it! Especially, because I have ever met some of the members in a Christian conference in East Java, long time ago.

From that conference, I always went to see this band playing when it held concerts in Surabaya, a city where I am from. My favourite spot was, and is still the drummer.
He is cute.

In that Christian conference, it almost happened I would introduce myself to him. But yeah,.. I was just a loser. I didn’t dare!
(Would you dare introducing yourself in front of J.T? I don’t think so!)

Surprisingly, my close friend, in the Netherlands, happened to know him personally, because they were sitting in the same high school back home. He introduced me to him.

Wow!

Could you imagine how happy I was?
I had never thought that I would EVER know this drummer, or meet him.
I didn’t dare to dream.

Because I knew it would never come true.
Amazingly, this drummer reacted quite quickly.

I finally found myself, regularly, chatted with him on MSN.

If a woman cannot control herself while alone, what hopes does she have when some smooth-talking hunk of a man starts whispering sweet nothings in her ear?

He is a very nice guy.
He likes football.
It is very cool to chat with him.

I, unexpectedly, found myself very into him.
Bad,..
Bad,…
Bad,…

I promised to myself, Nia, you will not go further than this.
Just chatting! And confess everything to Stefy.

Also, no lust can ever be satisfied; once you begin feeding baby monsters, their appetites grow bigger and they require more!

I stopped signing in on MSN for a while. Just to resist the temptations.

It went very well.
Although, sometimes when I needed to be online on MSN, but appear offline, I saw him signing in.
Sighing,..
I admitted that I was not yet ready to chat with him.

One afternoon,
After a long jog,..
I signed in on MSN, because my mom wanted to chat.

R> sign in

R> : Hallo

Once you begin feeding baby monsters, their appetites grow bigger and they require more!

I thought I was ready.
I thought after a long jog, I have refreshed my mind.

I was wrong.

You are better off never feeding those monsters in the first place!

I am now in rehabilitation.

Actually, I shouldn’t have fed my dreams in the first place.

I though I was just a big fan of him.
I hate to admit that in the end I found myself attracted to him.

What a disgrace!

some parts are adapted from the book "Every single woman's battle"