Can i do this?

Another day off, at home, around mid day

I probably have shared that I am now reading every woman’s, discovering God’s plan for sexual and emotional fulfillment. Last Saturday, I was reading the chapter about Fear of the Future.

Shannon Ethridge, the writer, had been facing a problem regarding the fear of being faithful to one guy, for the rest of her life. I have been (or am), probably, facing this kind of problem. It is very easy for me to fall to another guy, to feel attracted to another guy, especially if this guy gave me what I expected: attention, care, and being a good listener; especially that I am now having thing long-distance relationship. I have been very desperate with myself; I have ever felt very disappointed with myself. How could you keep falling into the same holes?

I don’t know how many times Stefy has fallen into this kind of ‘holes’, and I don’t want to count and compare his with mine; but I reckon, I have more. There was a time I asked myself, “Nia, if you cannot be faithful now, how could you do that in the future? You cannot keep changing husbands by the time you get bored with one?”

I have ever shared in my blog, on May 2005, when I attended a seminar by Garry Chapman about love that I learned about this topic. I am sure that God reminded me again about this, as I and Stefy are entering our sixth year of relationship.

Shannon Ethridge shared that she loved taking youth groups to a high-ropes challenge course. There people gear up with helmets and safety pads and are connected to a guide wire in order to waltz across a twelve-foot balance beam suspended twenty-five feet in the air between two telephone poles. Wooooww,.. excited heh!? For me, it would be an remarkable moment. I have never done this kind of dangerous thing before. During my high school period, I nagged my mom saying I wanted to do bungee-jumping. She clearly refused my proposal. Thus,.. the most dangerous, yet exciting thing I have ever done is only parasailing. Cool, tho! For my brother, doing what Shannon Ethridge shared above, would stop his heart and kill him immediately.

Before people climb the telephone poles, Shannon always ask, “Would you have a problem walking across a wooden beam that was two inches off the ground?” Most of them would say no, and Shannon reminds them that walking across a beam twenty-five feet in the air is physically no different. The only difference is the mental challenge of overcoming the fear of heights. Success comes when we tune out the surroundings and focus on putting one foot in front of the others.

When Shannon was struggling with her problem of being faithful to one person, she went to her mentor. Amazingly, her mentor asked this question: “Can you be faithful for one day?” She scoffed at the ridiculousness of the question (if she chatted on the Yahoo Messenger with her mentor, she would send “rolling on the floor laughing” emoticon), then she answered “of course! It is not one day that I am worried about, it is the rest of my life. Can I be faithful to my husband, one husband, for the rest of my life?”

Her mentor said “life consists of one twenty-four-hour period after another. If you can be faithful for one day, you’ve got it made. You just do the same thing the next day and the next day.”

The simplicity of this story, especially Shannon’s mentor answer, floored me. Yeah,.. I recognize that! It is always an issue in my life that I try to drag my future to one day.

Taking one day at a time and trusting our future to God is all it takes. That’s why in the Lord’s prayer, it says “give us today our daily bread.” That’s why God rained down bread from heaven, and eggs from the birds and Israelites could eat as much as they wanted but not to store the food; God provided their food daily. You know why God did (and still does) this? It is so that we become dependence on Him.

When we change our focus from the distant future to the immediate present, we gain strength and courage to overcome the fear of what we may encounter down the road. Don’t focus on whether you can be faithful to one man (or woman for the male readers) for a lifetime – just focus on being faithful to him (or her) just for today. Then do the same thing tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.

In the end, I would like to share that since I attended Garry Chapman’s seminar, I have been much faithful to him. In these two years, I have felt attracted to another guy for once, ONLY once. Some of you probably amazed by this amount and ask how I could manage this, but some of you might also mock me for being unfaithful, even only once. For the former readers, I will give you a tip (that I have shared before, too). If you meet a cute guy, or a guy that meets your requirements, say to yourself and God “Thank you God for your cute creature” or “I praise Your name that in this day I can still find this kind of nice guy. I pray so that he finds an equal partner” or many other things but paying attention to or praising this guy. (it is also applicable to the male readers. Just eliminate the word ‘guy’ and replace with ‘gal’ or ‘girl’ or ‘woman’.) For the latter readers, please pray for me so that I do not again slip up into this kind of trouble.

Thus, woman, fight with me in this battle, together with our Father!