Single fighter

I was very encouraged to write some articles regarding what God has taught me in these last few weeks. Yet, the power of ‘the vigorous’ is kindof controlling me. I was very discouraged in the end.

I went home from school knowing that one of my roommates, (Let’s name him Jaap), said that he has to meet his relative, thus he wouldn’t be able to attend our bible study tonight. I was very very disappointed, which result into being discouraged, and in the end into being demotivated.

I was not angry because he couldn’t attend the bible study, yet I was disappointed because he didn’t meet the agreement: every Monday is Bible study night. He made an appointment with his relative on Monday. I didn’t want to be too strict for this sort of thing, but I felt that other people are not very into it; they think Bible study night is something secondary, something unimportant. I felt that I am doing this on my own (no Nia, you do it with Jesus).

Yes, I know I do this with Him and for Him, too. It is all about Him, about His glory. Yet, I was very disappointed. I suddenly felt that there is no point of doing this Bible study if I am the only one who is enthusiast about it.

When I talked with Jaap about this, and tried to arrange another day in this week to do the Bible study, he was saying like this “oh,.. no,.no.. don’t worry. Just do the Bible study today. Just do it without me. No one can make it beside today. No one is available another day in this week.” Correct me if I am wrong, but I heard unwillingness in this statement.

Thus, I was very sad. (and still sad)

Ah,.. why should we still meet every Monday if no one wants it anymore? Why should I become angry if no one feels annoyed by it? Why should I still so passionate to organize this Bible study if no one thinks it is important? And many whys are now hanging on my mind.

I know that at this very moment, evils featuring Lucifer are dancing in the moonlight with “we are the champion” song as a soundtrack; they are happy that they have won to demotivate me, to stop the meeting.

Ah, Lord, you are Almighty God. Show me the way,…

p.s. my dear roommates, sorry if I misunderstood the ‘signs’ yet this is what I feel. Thanks for you whom are still interested and enthusiast about doing a Bible Study. Let us support each other. I am demotivated now!