I am on diet!

Losing weight, healthy diet, sport,…
I think these are things that people put in their New Year resolution. What about me? I have started my diet even before the New Year began.

If you think that I am now talking about diet as eating less to lose weight, you are wrong, peepz! I am talking about cutting my sleeping time, which is actually not ideal to be included in the New Year resolution.

I am very stressed out, lately. Daniel, again, said something remarkable that stayed in my brain last week. (Thanks, Dan!)

“Nia, you should relax a bit. Don’t be too stressed out. It is our last year. We should enjoy our time. Next year you are in Indonesia, you will be sorry if you have a bad, stressful, last year in the Netherlands.”

I had been thinking about his opinion. I, kindof, agreed with him.

The reason I am stressing out is no longer to be the best. I don’t know whether my ‘sickness’ was cured or actually I have another sickness. I want to finish my study as soon as possible. Why? To get married? Hahah,.. you are wrong again! Golda and Anita have planned the first, special ‘reunion’ in 2007.

Anyway, seriously, the rationale (ups,.. I am talking in research-language) is I want to go back home immediately. Secondly, I don’t want to waste my (parents) money by doing useless things in the Netherlands.

I think it is a good motivation, to finish as soon as possible. (Even though I joked, yesterday, with Ardy that my only motivation is getting married. Ardy wished that he could be motivated if he had the same motivation, hehehe!) However, what bad is that I became frightened.

Every night, when I wanted to go to bed earlier, I would thing “Oh,.. it is too early. I can still study, or do my assignment, or read a book.” Basically, I am very afraid to sleep. I find sleeping is a useless activity. Crazy, huh?!

Oh my goodness,.. I am obsessed!

Sometimes I just want to stop, go back home for a year and continue my study next year. Yeah,.. it is another waste of money. But what I need now is a long, nice, peace vacation, to rest my mind.

Last night, something crazy happened. In the middle of my before-going-to-bed prayer, I cried, while I was confessing “God, I am too tired, I couldn’t take it anymore.” What interesting is I surrendered my entire burden to Him, my obsession. I went to bed peacefully. When I woke up this morning, I prayed. I felt something different. Even more interesting, before I opened my Intellectual Capital book, I prayed, without realizing it. Suddenly, I realized,.. Yeah,.. it is actually what I have to do every time before I study. Praying!

Will I still do my diet? Hm,.. I think I will stop. I will go to bed earlier tonight. How about another diet? The real losing weight diet? Heheh,.. I don’t know,.. food is too delicious to be left out, isn't it?